What does it take to sate Michael Phelps? The Olympic swimmer has 14 gold medals, world records, tens of millions of dollars in likely endorsement contracts and global adoration. Does he really have to make Australian swimmer Eamon Sullivan's life a living hell? Sullivan is already having a royally shitty week: He blew his shot at two gold medals for which he was widely favored, finishing one race in sixth place. Now he's known as the "deposed sprint king." And his ex-girlfriend, who JUST split with him like two weeks ago, was snogging with Phelps — more of a distance man, if you catch my drift — at the big Olympic swimmer party the other night. Everyone's totally talking about it, which does not make Sullivan feel warm and fuzzy, reports the Post:

The pumped-up pair clinched and swapped spit at a celebratory bash outside the Olympic Village. The Baltimore Bullet swooped in for the lip-lock with the 20-year-old brunette just weeks after she split from Aussie swimmer Eamon Sullivan.

"All the swimmers are talking about it, and [Sullivan] is cut up about what happened," the source said.

That's Sullivan in the left picture above, and his ex-girlfriend Stephanie Rice and Phelps in the unconnected picture at right. Rice, by the way, has three gold medals of her own, so she and Phelps are something of a power couple, or would be if anyone had any idea whether they were a thing now.

We kind of predicted this, by the way.

Here are the various other ways Phelps' life continues to FREAKING RULE:

  • Phelps got a $1 million advance from Simon & Schuster's Free Press to write about his training regimen, Post sources said in the same gossip item.
  • Phelps will get to appear on television again after NBC agreed to televise the World Swimming Championships next year and the national championship from 2009 to 2011. Phelps is credited with the expanded coverage.

It's surely as silly to judge a glorious swimmer like Phelps on who he makes out with as it is to do so based on his clothes or attractiveness to teammate Amanda Beard. Plus did he even know who Rice's ex was? Should he even care? Probably not.

But he should probably be a bit more discreet next time with the tongue action. Making out at a party in front of the other swimmers? Ick. America, sadly, loves to tear down its heroes, and has proven especially fast on the draw in this regard lately. From now until his next big meet, Phelps can only erode his cachet. Any behavior short of discretion will cost barrels of real money.