By Richard Lawson, 11:21 AM on Fri Aug 22 2008, 10,280 views (Edit post, Set to draft, Slurp)

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Hey lesbos and bi-curious ladytypes! We have got the perfect girl for you. She fancies herself the bisexual Carrie Bradshaw! You see, she's short but head-turning, she goes to fancy parties, and she hates fat people! (And Latinos and people with children.) We're not exactly sure why she's chosen to look for a woman at this point rather than a fella, but she sent us an email of a post that she put up on internet carnival Craigslist so we've decided to help her out. It's hideous! You should totally read it after the jump. Good luck ladies!