Small-town Michigan librarian "Ann Miketa" wrote a book about the batshit-crazy patrons she encountered at her job all day, called Library Diaries, and was promptly fired, reports the Chicago Tribune. But think for a minute how weird library patrons really are: these people obviously have nothing to do and nowhere to go. And everyone knows that they use the library's computers for porn—that's been a well-documented problem for years. First sign that this book is probably awesome: Miketa refers to her rural town as "Denialville."Sounds familiar! Maybe we went to highschool together. From the introduction:

"After working at a public library in a small, rural Midwestern town (which I will refer to as Denialville, Michigan, throughout this book) for fifteen years, I have encountered strains and variations of crazy I didn't know existed in such significant portions of our population."

And here's the publisher's description:

"Open this book and you'll meet the naked patron, the greedy, unenlightened patrons, destination hell, the masturbator, horny old men, Mr. Three Hats, and a menagerie of other characters you never dreamt were housed at your public library."

In related library weirdness, the 'zine American Libraries wrote a few years back that their library in Minneapolis had basically become overrun by porn-patrons once they added computers:

"We were totally unprepared for reality...Not only did patrons view and display sexual activities, but they often sought attention of the staff, in order to heighten their enjoyment. It seemed to be a thrill to feign trouble with the printer, so one of us would have to go over and be faced with sexual images. They asked for help in logging into sites such as They printed out sexual images, and placed the prints on tables, bookshelves and counters around the buidlings where they would be seen by others."

Last time I was using a computer at the public library, I looked at the guy's screen next to me and he was in the middle of an all-caps email, which read in part "THE WORLD IS A BIG PLACE YOU CAN LIVE OUT IN AFRICA."