Racism in the world has been vanquished at last! The Olympic basketball team representing the United States of America—which fittingly embodied our post-racial society by fielding not a single white or Asian player (with good reason)—defeated the Spanish Olympic basketball team to take the gold medal early this morning. The Spanish team, you'll recall, got all that bad press for striking the "Slanty-eyed Chinaman" pose in a full-page ad. Despite Spain's protestations that the pose was all in good ching-chong-chow-fun, the world rallied behind the men from America, where basketball is an exercise in acceptance and multiculturalism. Let this be a lesson to the lesser countries of Earth: embrace the United States' gentle values, or face extermination. [Click through to see the fateful ad one last time]:

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