By Richard Lawson, 3:41 PM on Tue Aug 26 2008, 8,640 views (Edit post, Set to draft, Slurp)

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So we're a little late to the game on this, but salaries for each of The Hills' principles were recently leaked by In Touch and now we've got a handy dandy chart! (Made by our Photoshop whiz Steven Dressler.) Look at their big dumb heads! It's like some sort of hell-crafted Mt. Rushmore! And look, as the sizes get smaller, how much more we're actually "interested." I'd watch a whole show of Lo and Whitney (but not Brody. Never, ever Brody)! Though I am curious about someone like Spencerina, Spencer's dimbulb sister? Does she get paid or is she—Clint Howard-esque—just allowed to hang around the set, getting nothing more than a free sandwich each day?

Lauren "Lowest Common Denominator" Conrad: $75k/ep

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, MTV's Burns & Allen: $65k/ep

Audrina "Audy" Patrdige, Lady Mumbles: $35k/ep

Whitney "Guildenstern" Port: $20k/ep

Brody Jenner, Son of Some Dude: $10k/ep

Lo (don't hurt me): $10k/ep