Cruise Strikes Out, Beyonce Gets Slammed

• Tom Cruise tried to impress a group of reporters at a press event in Brazil by speaking Spanish instead of Portuguese. Nice one, Tom. [P6]
• Etta James is no fan of Beyonce. She told a crowd in Seattle that she "can't stand" the singer, and that she "had no business" singing "At Last" at Obama's inauguration two weeks ago. Oh, and she's "gonna get her ass whupped," if she keeps singing Etta's songs, too. [NYDN, OK!]
• Paris Hilton wants to date a "big-money man" in LA, but she isn't having much success finding one who's willing to be seen with her in public. [P6]

• Will Christian Bale's freak-out damage his career? Maybe! [MSNBC]
• According to OK!, Madonna is growing "envious" of daughter Lourdes' youth and all the attention she's been getting from men; it also says it's only a matter of time before they start dating guys the same age. [OK!]
• More Britney Spears drama: Her dad says he's determined to file criminal charges against Sam Lutfi for drugging Britney. And now someone has stolen her diaries, too. [The Sun, NE]
• Kelly Clarkson wants everyone to know she is not a lesbian. Got it? [Star]
• Hugh Grant is getting back together with British heiress Jemima Khan. [TIL]
• Carla Bruni's family sold their castle in Turin, Italy for $9 million. [P6]
• Writer Laurence Leamer was invited to speak about his new book at the Harmonie Club, but only if he agreed not to mention Bernie Madoff's name. [P6]
Swoosie Kurtz is making a guest appearance on Desperate Housewives. [E!]
• Denise Richards has signed on for next season's Dancing With the Stars. [IT]
• Angelina Jolie has supposedly set a goal to get pregnant within the next three months, which an "insider" says won't be hard since Angie "always manages to achieve whatever she wants." Okay then! [MSNBC]