A terrifying cultural milestone is approaching, one that will further destroy the image of our nation's menfolk, already irrevocably sullied by Michael Phelps' bong-toking and Jeremy Piven's malingering and hairplugs: For the first time in America's history, women will outnumber men in the labor force! Since 82 percent of recent job losses effected men, statistics are likely to soon reveal that more than half the country's breadwinners are of the fairer sex.
Needless to say, just because women are working more, it doesn't mean that their jobless husbands are pulling their weight at home. As one unemployed layabout puts it, his "main priority is finding a job and putting in the time to do that," not, God forbid, doing household chores. Of course, only time will tell how this shocking state of affairs will impact our boy children, who could grow up thinking that women are as capable as men—and then we may as well be Sweden!