Heidi Montag's Sister's Awful Celebrity Boss

  • Joe Francis, the Girls Gone Wild scuzz, has for some reason hired as his personal assistant Holly Montag, sister of the actress Heidi Montag. He reports she is "probably the best assistant I have ever had," by which he means she waited for him to get out of prison and greatly increases the chances he will score some sort of reality television deal. [P6]
  • Chace Crawford of Gossip Girl is supposedly trying to get into the pants — sorry, "cozy up" to — Amanda Hearst, the heiress. [P6]
  • On 30 Rock, Jennifer Aniston will play a "free spirited stalker," a role that makes about as much sense as "John Mayer's wife forever." Her character will at least have the good taste to become obsessed with Jack Donaghy, like the rest of us. [Us]
  • Lindsay Lohan posted "ILY" to "SR" on her MySpace page, and people specially trained in journalism used their investigative skills to determine this was an "I Love You" to "Samantha Ronson." Then they told the WORLD. [Sun]
  • Britney Spears thanks her conservator: "My father saved my life." [Showbiz Spy]