Aniston's Pricey Locks, Brit's Big Return

• If you've noticed Jennifer Aniston's hair looking even more perfect and shiny lately, it's not your imagination. She reportedly spent $50,000 to have her hairstylist accompany her around the world for the Marley & Me's premieres. [DM, P6]
• Britney Spears kicked off her first tour in five years with a concert in New Orleans last night. The early reviews have not been positive, in case you're wondering. [People, DM, MTV]
• Did Chris Brown and Rihanna secretly tie the knot at Diddy's Miami manse? That's what Star is claiming, since Rihanna is "looking for the husband-and-two-kids deal before she turns 25." [Star]
• Breaking! Oprah has adopted a new puppy! [Us]
Jennifer Lopez borrowed $50,000 worth of jewelry to attend an event last week, but never gave it back. [P6]

• Madonna was so mad about a DJ putting on a Britney Spears song while she was at The Ritz on Monday that she "flipped out, stormed upstairs" and started "aggressively making out with Jesus Luz." Sounds intense. [P6]
• John Mayer picked out a new home in California for its "totally private" location, then realized his neighbor is fame-seeking reality star Denise Richards. Try again! [NYDN]
• Michael Jackson has passed the required medical tests to go on tour, which means his summer "comeback tour" may happen after all. This also means he's probably not on the brink of death. [Fox411]
• Amy Winehouse is trying to woo back estranged husband Blake Fielder-Civil by texting him the lyrics to Frank Sinatra songs. [Sun]
• Robin Williams cancelled four performances in Florida after "experiencing shortness of breath." [E!]
• Sarah Silverman's cable show has been saved. [THR]
• James Franco's collection of short stories has found a publisher. [Fox 411]
• Paula Abdul is being sued by a woman who fell down during a taping of her reality show. [TMZ]
Conan O'Brien was overhead complaining about NBC execs on an Acela train from DC to New York yesterday. [P6]
Dancing with the Stars contestant Lil' Kim says she first became a fan of the show while watching it in prison. Good to know! [People]
• The recession isn't forcing Paris Hilton to cut back: She's reportedly paying £200,000 to have a diamond dashboard installed in her pink Bentley. [Sun]