The much-vaunted Miss Williamsburg pageant we warned you about has come and gone. What to say—the hip neighborhood manages to simultaneously be everything that's wrong and right with Brooklyn's creative slacker class. Since we didn't have the energy to attend (it sounded exhausting), we are happy that the New York Press covered the blessed event. "The girl crowned Miss Williamsburg, C.J. Johnson, boasted the talent of shot-gunning a PBR and taking her panties off through an American Apparel 'onesie'..." Click through to see the crowned King and Queen of Williamsburg, along with pageant drama (includes Xanax and New Jersey!)

"But first I had to ask [pageant coordinator] Misha one last thing: 'What’s with the MC? No one can understand a word he says.' Misha started sweating missiles. 'This fucking DJ is huge in Berlin!' she sputtered, 'the crowd should be lucky to hear him mumble. So he did a little too much Xanax before the show and maybe a bunch of other stuff.'"

Also, scandal: we hear the newly-crowned Ms. Williamsburg is actually from Jersey...! And that the dude winner is actually coordinator Mischa's sister's boyfriend! [New York Press; photos Lola Wakefield]