Hockey Player, Vogue Intern, and Masturbator Sean Avery to Get His Own MovieIn what is some of the fastest turnaround in real-thing-to-movie time that we can remember, the story of Sean Avery, former NHL player and, paradoxically, former Vogue women's fashion intern, is being turned into a movie. It will be a romantic comedy, because no romantic comedies about the high-gloss world of fashion and New York frivolity have ever been made. We wonder though, what will the love interest plot line be like? Will there be jerking off? Yes jerking off! We can just picture a moment when the actor playing Avery, probably someone like Josh Lucas, or maybe someone a little less intense like Jesse Bradford, meets cute with the female lead, maybe a playful rival fashionista played by some frustrating television actress, and he says coyly yet masculinely "I'm going home to jerk off to you now. And that's a big compliment." That little zippy "Suddenly I See" song will swell and they'll both bop back to their ridiculous lower Manhattan apartments and then it will devolve into solo porn with sugary voiceover full of hackneyed hockey metaphors and Anna Wintour, sitting alone in a dark screening room, will adjust her wig and issue a guttural, disgusted-yet-oddly-pleased groan. Seriously, though, it is kind of an interesting story, and a male-perspective movie about the women's fashion industry has the potential to be a pleasant fish-out-of-water diversion. Or, you know, it could be cloying and awful and full of "haha, I'm not gay!!" panic jokes. Either way, we're surprised it's been so hastily picked up. And without even a chick lit book preceding it!