Shocking Oil-For-Sex-And-Cocaine Scandal Engulfs Federal AgencyThe Interior Department is the classic example of the type of thing Republican hacks will accuse of being an overfunded regulation-happy socialist bureaucracy even as they have already seen to it to staff it at all levels with ethically bankrupt bribe-happy supercorruptionists that basically do everything the GOP and its oligarch bankrollers would like them to do! Okay, so, case study: Last spring Palin sued the Department for trying to protect polar bears in the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge! Because, you know, fuck the polar bears, they totally get in the way of the oil. And speaking of drilling! The whole time Sarah Palin was making out the Interior Department to be some Ecoterrorist front organization polluting soft minds with her fuzzy science on climate change, numerous employees of the Interior Department and the oil companies Sarah so loves were getting very cozy. And snorting cocaine! A federal investigation concluded today revealed:
  • 13 Interior Department officials in Denver and Washington charged with managing billions of dollars took bribes and part-time consulting gigs from oil companies in exchange for letting them drill for cheap on their federal communist lands.
  • And also, fucking them!
  • Investigators described a "fraternity house environment" and "culture of substance abuse and promiscuity" among the bureau officials and their oil company friends.
  • Substance = cocaine!!!
  • "Two oil marketers who received gifts and gratuities on at least 135 occasions displayed no remorse when confronted with their activities."
  • Also, golf and ski trips that will invariably be described as "lavish." (Ski! Blow! Polar Bears!)
  • Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne is apparently known as the "Kennedy" of the Republican Party — "and not for his stance on civil rights." And he's not even implicated in this particular federal case!
Related: Interior Dept. Opens 2.6 Million Alaskan Acres for Oil Exploration [NYT]