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Some very unfortunate goings-on in New Jersey are threatening one of the basic human rights—to have hair ripped out of one's cooch with hot wax—of everyone in the state. Following Brazilian-related infections that left two women hospitalized (yes, crossing your legs right now is an entirely natural reaction), leading one of them to sue, the state Board of Cosmetology and Hairstyling may ban "genital waxing" altogether—creating a situation where desperate Jersey residents, like red state teens seeking abortions, will have to cross state lines if they want to maintain their landing strip. Which, on the bright side, is great news for waxers in Manhattan—not that spatula-wielding Russians need the extra PR!