Apparently practically no one in New York received a Wall Street Journal today. What, did the Fed need to hijack its plant to print all that new money they're "injecting"? A customer service representative I reached after ninety six minutes on hold* just told me it's the result of a production snafu in Rochester, but if the Journal is being printed five and a half hours away they totally deserve this for having such a terrible carbon footprint. The Journal managed to put out a paper the day after its office was destroyed by terrorists so whatever it is must be pretty bad. Anyway, if you are a subscriber, here is what you missed: insurance giant AIG got taken over by that same acquisition-happy behemoth that just acquired Freddie and Fannie, but if you are a subscriber you probably knew this last night.In any case, if you're a subscriber you'll be reminded of it again tomorrow, when you'll have probably forgotten amidst all the other crazyass shit that is already filling the Journal's annoyingly Portfolio-esque redesigned website. Hey look, the SEC is regulating short selling again, good idea! As with the rest of this meltdown, we'll keep you posted on What This Means as soon as we figure out What It Means which is to say don't hold your breath!

*Seriously, who has time to actually be calling about this right now that isn't still drunk? Just wondering.