Gosh—are the Emmy Awards here already? While we make the last arrangements for our fabulous Emmy Awards Liveblog Extravaganza and eco-themed after-party Sunday (hey—who seated America Ferrera next to Blake Lively? There's gonna be so much eye-rolling going down, it's gonna be like it's all Scanners up in he-yuh!), we thought we'd do our part for anyone else out there scrambling to pull things together in time. We dutifully pass along, then, this Craigslist ad seeking a highly specific brand of companionship for the big show:
HUNG BLACK ESCORT NEEDED FOR EMMY AWARDS (Awards and after parties) I am looking for a hung black escort to attend the Emmy Awards with me. The escort must wear flimsy white linen slacks that will be tailored and provided. Cockring ok—no underwear.
No money involved. Must attend the Emmy Awards and a couple after-parties with me. Fuck around with whoever you like, but flimsy, white linen slacks must be worn with no underwear — a cockring is preferred. Escort can be white but prefer black. Must be hung however. Have fun and meet the right men. Lets have some fun!Included with the ad was the accompanying photo (we've black-barred out all faces to protect the innocent). Interested and appropriately equipped parties take note, however: We make no guarantees that the blonde man gleefully sniffing the trophy's signature rubber-band ball will be the same one who'll be similarly inspecting your white-linen-wrapped goods (post-Labor Day fashion bylaws be damned!) after Sunday night's big event.