Having recovered from her recent airport tussle with nary a scratch, Nikki Blonsky appeared on Entertainment Tonight yesterday to give her first interview since her arrest for assault last month in Turks and Caicos. Naturally, we tuned in expecting the bruising, riveting play-by-play: The offending remarks made by Blonsky adversary/ANTM contestant Bianca Golden; how Nikki's father got involved; exactly which tag-team manuevers constitute the "Blonsky Sandwich"... The good stuff, for Christ's sake. Alas, the Blonskys' lawyer layeth down his own signature move known as the "Fluff Nelson," stripping even Golden's name from the story in favor of anecdotes about Zac Efron's unwavering support and the family that had her back all along. We're touched and everything, but wake us for the rematch in court. [ET ]