- Everyone went bankrupt and the stock market took a terrifying (and inevitable) nosedive. We had so many questions about what it all meant, and then we sorta answered them. Though, some good came out of it! And then, hey!, some more good!
- John McCain's friends and confidants told lots of annoying lies and this hurt many journalists' feelings. Even worse, the news killed Chuck Bass' boner.
- Anderson Cooper went on many dates, but sadly Ennis and Jack shall go on no more.
- A hero was lost, a teacher was found, and Alex Balk had nowhere to go.
- No one gives handjobs anymore. At least the Belgians are still giving head. But not swallowing!
- And of course, Sarah Palin's privacy, and thus the nation's, was forever stripped away. An angry mob blamed us and wanted to send us to jail, especially Manzanar apologist Michelle Malkin, who generously gave us a new tag line.
- In the end, we learned an important lesson: the world is both beautiful and terrible, all at the same time. Just ask Bill O'Reilly.
- Oh, and! Gawker is having a roof deck party tonight. We are exhibitionists and wildly full of ourselves, so there is a webcam of the event. It is after the jump.
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