· Tina Fey does Sarah Palin does Tina Fey does Sarah Palin . But who did who better? And does it really matter ? Obama, sadly, does nobody . His $9 million-a-plate dinner sells out, but there's not nearly enough buttah on it . · Here's a hint hint, pali pal : Lindsay Lohan's got no time for you narrow-minded, media-obsessed, moose-stalking types. · Pat O'Brien gets a little too hopeful . Yes he's canned ! · Megan Fox still can't get the pungent scent of Nikita's perfumed thighs out of her mind . But did Nikita ever really exist ? · "I'm Fucking Tim Conway" takes all the Creative Arts Emmys . · The first major 90210 cliffhanger has Luke Perry's DNA all over it . · You don't worry about Ben Silverman. Ben Silverman's got things all worked out . · Hey hey—it's The Mumpees ! · No wonder Shenae Grimes is so grumpy . Now eat, tzatzkeleh, eat ! · MTV VJ-alum Dave Holmes weighs in on the end of the TRL era . · New from the Franklin Mint: Shia LaBeouf's Keepsake Pinkie Nail . · "I don't care how you do it. Just kill the mouse ." · How can we put this gently ? While you were shooting your failed opus at Tisch, Diablo Cody was jamming toxic silicon toys up her ass for money. There! That wasn't so bad. · "Listen to me, Death : You are a rude, thoughtless little pig!" · Lynne Spears: mother, author, lost-childhood investigator . · Matt McConaughey's new movie made $36,497 , or $36,457 more than Katherine Heigl's Zyzzyx Road . · And finally, please press your white linen slacks and join us right here, for a spectacular Emmys liveblog presided over by the inimitable S.T. VanAirsdale. We're predicting he'll win and she'll win . It's going to be a hoot!