Michael Wolff called us about 374 times last week, insisting that he needed to speak with us about our story last month that revealed Wolff has been carrying on an affair with a former Vanity Fair intern and self-described "femme fatale" named Victoria Floethe. We didn't bother talking to Wolff, mainly because although he says he plans to write about his "downfall" in an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair, we hear editor-in-chief Graydon Carter would really rather Wolff indulge in his silly conspiracy theories elsewhere. In the meantime, though, we've put his tedious calls to good use with a Michael Wolff ringtone! You can listen to it above. Or you can download the MP3 version for your phone here. Sure, it's a huge step down from some of the other personalities we've turned into ringtones thus far (Anna! Andre! Padma! Isaac!) But we did do a Bernie Madoff ringtone a couple of months back, so Michael is in good company.