IvyGate has discovered another great way to cover the banking armageddon: Quoting whiny would-be plutocrats who thought their pedigrees would make them fabulously wealthy on Wall Street but now can't even pull down seven lousy figures a year. Instead of becoming Big Swinging Dicks in i-banking, they find themselves working for (*shudder*) retail bankers and — oh God it gets worse — the government. That's right, when you take subsidized government cash to stay in business dumping government-backed mortgages on the government at prices inflated with government money, you're not a capitalist raider anymore, you're a bureaucrat with a salary cap. As you can imagine, this has Harvard grads sounding as bitter as furloughed, Hillary Clinton-voting factory workers in the rust belt:

One of my friends at Bank of America texted me, 'Hey, we might be buying you guys.' ...I was shocked I would be joining a lower-tier commercial bank.

...Changing compensation will obviously change the attitude of students toward the industry. They might go to med school or law school instead [the horror!]. This is a sad week.

...I'm not sure we want state-owned enterprises.

If you think the complaints are bad now, just wait until more hedge funds start closing.

Come on, federal government, approve a $700 billion bailout for Wall Street with no caps on executive compensation so these poor Ivy Leaguers can get back to improving the American economy again. What are they supposed to do, light their cigars with twenties??

[IvyGate]

(Image from Wall Street via National Journal)

Send an email to Ryan Tate, the author of this post, at ryan@gawker.com.