Whenever the media say anything about John McCain that isn't "he is the coolest hero ever and sooo dreamy" his campaign accuses every journalist in the country of being "in the tank" for Barack Obama. And whenever the press goes a day or two without talking exclusively about John McCain, the McCain campaign accuses the media of ignoring him. Kind of a biased-if-you-do, biased-if-you-don't situation. But we'll give the McCain campaign credit: they're consistent. In their attacks on the media, anyway. The enemy seems to shift a bit. Like, this week, apparently the media is ignoring John McCain in favor of... the rapidly growing financial crisis and the government's unprecedented plan to end it. Seriously, the McCain campaign is totally upset that no one will write about his "commission of technicians" but they all find time to talk about Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson! McCain economic advisor Douglas Holtz-Eakin—the guy who said McCain invented the BlackBerry and yet somehow retained his position as McCain's least bad economic advisor—sent a snippy email to like a thousand financial reporters yelling at them for not covering John McCain's secret plan to end the war on banks. "I cannot believe the absence of recognition of the policy substance," Holtz-Eakin wrote, followed by a list of all of McCain's fantastic vague ideas that he can't implement until January. Financial reporters who received the email were like, ok? What? Old man, there are more important things to talk about right now, like the end of capitalism!

"It's a great idea perhaps six months ago, and maybe six months from now," said Steve Liesman, a senior economics reporter for CNBC and a recipient of the weekend e-mail. "But right now? The solution to next month's problem or even how he would handle the next crisis is simply not germane to the incredibly pregnant moment that we're in right now." Few in the world of financial reporting found much to say about either Mr. McCain or Senator Barack Obama's responses to the unfolding crisis that week. After all, should business reporters really care more about Mr. McCain's "commission of technicians" than, say, Henry Paulson's plans for the largest bailout in American history or, say, the sudden, radical end of the pure investment banks on Wall Street? The day after receiving the e-mail, during an appearance on Meet the Press, Mr. Liesman suggested that, if anything, Mr. McCain and Mr. Obama should be getting less attention from reporters. "I think both of these campaigns are beside themselves with how-behind the scenes-how unimportant they are," said Mr. Liesman. "I got an angry note from one of McCain's people saying, ‘McCain came out with this plan on Friday to solve the problem. …' Like, who cares? What I care about right now is what's going on behind closed doors across town here at Capitol Hill."

Right, see, financial reporters know better than almost anyone who and what is actually important and who actually rules the fucking country, and it's not the jokers the political parties throw to the lions every four years. They can maybe start a war or two, but it's a Senate subcommittee, a cabinet member, and Warren Buffet who truly control the fate of the free world. So shut up and find something new to lie about, Senator Cranky. Press to Senators: Shush! [NYO]