Not long after Poltergeist's late young star Heather O'Rourke lodged an official protest with God about MGM's forthcoming remake, we heard terrible rumors from Heaven that she was filing a follow-up about her likeness being used in a "stupid goddamn TV commercial from fucking Hell" (her words, not ours) whose makers she'd like to see Him smite even more swiftly and violently than new MGM hatchet man Vadim Perelman. Today we finally got a look at that commercial, which we really imagined couldn't be more just dirty celestial gossip made up by an ad man still bitter about OD-ing at his friend's birthday party a few weeks ago. But no — it was for real, right down to little Heather's starring role. A digital cameo in the remake is inevitably next, with her screen mother's enticements to "come to the light" met with O'Rourke's cleverly edited, product-placement-friendly resistance to approach anything that isn't Verizon's own "20db hot, true quam." Sometimes a girl just has to help herself. [DirectTV]