That's It, Neocons! Big Government Will Pay Off Those Big Loans On Your Big Cars, But No More Big "Ideas""Not once did we consider asking Washington to bail out the Sun," proclaimed the conservative New York newspaper in a deathbed editorial this morning that cited the importance of adhering to its highminded free-market "principles." But it turns out that they did almost precisely that kind of! See, some of the Sun's capitalist backers had a bunch of money invested in the private equity firm Cerberus, which controls the auto financing firms Chrysler Financial and GMAC. (And also, owns Chrysler itself, which was also a bad idea.) Auto financing firms are sitting on truckloads of car loans gone bad in no small part because people can't get home equity loans to pay them off like they used to, which is (a major reason) why the whole auto industry has gone to shit. So…guess which struggling private equity firm was about to get some major R-O-L-A-I-D-S from that big communist bailout bill all those ideological comrades of the Sun just voted down?Yup! Cerberus! Oh well, that's the free market! Says a source: "[Sun Editor Seth] Lipsky gave up trying to raise money after the bailout failed to pass." So it turns out it is not only middle-class social conservatives in Kansas who will vote Republican against their economic self-interest. Zionist New York plutocrat neoconservatives will too. Even if it means silencing their mouthpiece forever! Don't worry, Seth, Republicans will continue doing the talking (out of both sides of their mouths) for you, as conservative columnist David Brooks did today:
What we need in this situation is authority. Not heavy-handed government regulation, but the steady and powerful hand of some public institutions that can guard against the corrupting influences of sloppy money and then prevent destructive contagions when the credit dries up.
And lest some of you liberals fail to grasp the nuance of the argument here, there is a very important difference between "heavy-handed government regulation" and "steady and powerful public institutions": the former is run by career civil servants and latter by former investment bankers who would only deign to work for the private sector if it meant allowing them to skip out on the capital gains taxes on that half-billion portfolio of Goldman stock they had to unload to take the job. Because conservatives know better than to trust anyone who claims not to be motivated by pure economic self-interest! Which is maybe why they should all get out of the antiquated business of running newspapers and into something truly profitable! Such as……