SBeloved child actress Lindsay Lohan's shocking "I'm Gay!" cover has hit newsstands! And it is truly shocking. The word "gay" is nowhere to be found?! It's all "Love" and "Wedding Plans" and "In Other Old News, Oy That Is A Remarkable Rack." But everyone knows the correct way to reveal one's gayness on a magazine cover is to make arrangements with a distinguished Time Inc. publication to run a cover story that somberly declares: "Hey! Hi! I am ready to air my deep painful lifelong secret with the world in a supportive setting! If just one kid in Nebraska with an elaborate Christian Siriano fantasy and a dream can read my painful painful story and feel a little more 'normal' as a result then it will all have been worth it! Because this is really painful for me, telling the world what they already knew about me! Even though being gay is nothing to be ashamed of; it is just like having Lyme disease or something!" Not Lindsay. When Lindsay Lohan turns out to be gay, it is like …aspirational! And that adorbs snapshot of her and girlfriend Sam Ronson in those Come On Feel The Lemonheads shirts: whose inner college lesbian without the college isn't tingling experimentally over that image? It is like Jamie Lynn and her enviable teen pregnancy, but without the weight gain.