As everyone in America knows, there is so much more to beauty pageants than prancing around in high heels, nude control top pantyhose and a specially engineered swimsuit! They are college scholarship programs, for Chrissakes, otherwise why would noted college enthusiast Sarah Palin have even bothered? So you knew there was more to the Republican vice presidential nominee's 1983 Miss Alaska appearance than that thought-provoking swimsuit competition we saw last week. Yes America, it is time for the talent competition! Watch Sarah perform a lovely James Galway song on her recorder flute and enjoy her Renaissance womanhood.

Side note: kudos to whatever Alaska viral video expert is being so savvy and National Enquirer-esque about dribbling these out for maximum "impact."

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