We said it once, but it bears repeating in streets and valleys far and wide: It's opening day for Beverly Hills Chihuahua! ZOMG, right? At least we thought so, but despite our all-consuming anticipation and lobbying on its behalf, Defamer's fevered attempts to break down the Disney wall for an early viewing were met with repeated, unappreciative radio silence. And because the world's first review — a rave, natch — seemed suspiciously exempt from the studio's embargo, it's only now that we can reliably study the critical spectrum. And just as we thought: It's almost half-good! Or, more realistically, the reviews catalogued at Rotten Tomatoes are just about split, but that can't deter our optimism — even the slags after the jump have us clamoring for quitting time:

Ticket buyers older than 8 should simply close their eyes and ponder a more stimulating concept: Beverly Hills Cujo. — Claudia Puig, USA Today It's still only October, but I'll go ahead and say it: Beverly Hills Chihuahua is the best film of 2008 starring a purse dog. — Carla Meyer, The Sacramento Bee You could say Beverly Hills Chihuahua is Lady and the Tramp meets Viva Zapata!, but seriously, I've seen zestier attitude in a Purina commercial. — Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly Sublimely silly and oddly poignant, Beverly Hills Chihuahua — that's right, the one with the talking canines — is Lady and the Tramp for lap dogs, Roots for pooches, Legally Blonde told from Bruiser's point of view. — Carrie Rickey, Philadelphia Enquirer The film is Beverly Hills Chihuahua. The audience is the fire hydrant. — Kyle Smith, NY Post

Right? Right?? Can't! Wait!