When the conservative satire An American Carol failed to catch fire at this weekend's box office, there were a wealth of potential targets for blame: the terrible, terrible trailer, the heated political climate, even the low-wattage cast of Hollywood's few Republicans (without even so much as a cameo for D.B. Sweeney!). However, the team behind the David Zucker-helmed parody would prefer to ignore those valid debits, instead alleging that there has been a vast, ticket-switching conspiracy designed to deflate American Carol grosses (and boost, perhaps, the thinly-veiled pro-immigration dogma of Beverly Hills Chihuahua?):
We have had heard from numerous people across the country that there has been some ticket fraud when buying a ticket for An American Carol this past weekend. Please check your ticket. If you were in fact one of those people that were "mistakenly" sold a ticket for another movie please fill out the form below. Hold on to your ticket so we can have proof. If you have noticed other irregularities with the theatres in your area please let us know in the comment section below. For instance, Rated R film rating (when in fact we are rated PG-13), posters not being up, not being listed on the marquee, image or focus problems, sound issues, etc. Please email us a picture of your ticket stub to firstname.lastname@example.org We are investigating.
Though the American Carol team is mounting their own oversight committee to investigate every exhibitor and ticket booth in the nation, we have a feeling they might not like what they find. The chihuahua voting bloc is loud and legion, and though rumors of a secret ticket counterfeiting operation have never been confirmed (despite a recent scandal involving conspicuous paw prints on numerous stubs for Nights in Rodanthe), you don't want to mess with the dogs. Sure, it may win you points with the 6-12 cat demographic, but we all know they never show up to vote.