• Three months after giving birth, 17-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears is said to be pregnant. Everyone's freaking out, "pals are begging her to abort." If only there was a national political leader, preferably experienced with teen pregnancy, who could guide the celebrity family in these trying times. [National Enquirer]
• The boyfriend of 15-year-old Miley Cyrus might be 20 years old, but he's "a good kid," according to Cyrus' dad. He's "searching for the dream," whatever that might be. [People]
• Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel are hoping groping each other in public will lead to a more meaningful reconciliation. Apparently "taking it slow" includes ass grabbing. Fair enough. [People]
• Is it really surprising to hear Angelna Jolie had a tummy tuck after giving birth to twins? The real question is whether she got the French government to pay for it. [Star]

Send an email to Ryan Tate, the author of this post, at ryan@gawker.com.