Having produced now a total of three individual Rapture-hastening blobs from her fertile loins, Us Weekly—in an Angelina Jolie Junk Food-Gobbling Exclusive!— reports that the actress has managed to lose the Chosen Twins weight. We can hear you now: Angelina Jolie is capable of accumulating unwanted weight? But that's the kind of thing that happens to genetically imperfect mortals who have yet to rescue even a single motherless child from a developing nation! Well, hold on to your hats, as Jolie also reportedly developed an ugly addiction to that mass-market Calzone of Doom, the Hot Pocket:
After giving birth to twins, Angelina Jolie had a difficult time putting the breaks on the high-calorie pizzas, Hot Pockets, french fries and ice cream she consumed during her pregnancy, Us Weekly reports in its latest issue, on newsstands now. Her snacking got so bad that a source close to Jolie's French Ob-Gyn, Michel Sussman, tells Us that he instructed her to eat more nutritiously. (She said junk food is "their family's weakness" and even joked about Brad Pitt having a pregnant belly, says the source.)
The source likely misconstrued the tone of Jolie's statement, as the reference to Pitt's "pregnant belly" was no joke: Having announced at The Changeling premiere that the couple are "are going to have more kids," Jolie has opted to give both adoption and her uterus a rest, and instead put Pitt's underused abdomen to work carrying Chosen Family Members Four through Nine.