If you want to impress people by pretending to be someone else and/or having a cool job, some advice: don't pretend to work for this website! A.) it doesn't work, and b.) nobody cares. (And if a romantic interest even suspects you mentioned them in a post, you'll have a huffy "That was OT fucking R" instant-message to look forward to.) That's why we were surprised to hear from a bartender in Brooklyn: "I’ve heard a lot of guys say a lot of wild things to random girls at bars, but 'I work at Gawker and just got mugged in Bed-Stuy… where I actually live because I’m a struggling writer,' was a new one..."
I pour beers and bar-back at a little place [in Carrol Gardens]. Great place. We get a good crowd on Sundays for NFL football... So anytime someone would squeeze up near the taps to order a drink, if they were of the female persuasion, he'd strike up a convo. "So... are you a Green Bay fan?" type stuff. Within a line or two, he'd mention that he wrote for Gawker, and the girl would get interested, ask a few questions about "that life" (I’m very serious, one girl asked, “What’s that life like?”), and then eventually they'd take their beer and walk away. Some of his answers were so funny and vague: Girl #1: Cool, what kind of stuff do you write? Mugged Guy: You know, we do a little bit of everything over there. Girl #4: Wow, how did you get into that? Mugged Guy: Well... I was an English major in college. Girl #6: Gawker? Never heard of it. Mugged Guy: Oh, really. It's like, a very influential media blog. I mean, we touch on everything important in this city.
Haha "touch" is right. A description of the perp:
He was short and skinny, but had long arms that took up a bunch of space. He had short black hair, a stubbly little stubble thing going on all over his face, and some thick black glasses. He was also a Packer's fan and had enough green on to prove it. He also would work in, “little white guy” and then shrug a lot when talking about his mugging... "You know, I mean that's just the price you pay if you want to pursue this type of career. Um could I get a High Life for the lady?" was his response at one point.
I overheard this shtick (multiple times) while bartending this past Sunday. If he's not a Gawker employee, I just wanted to say, "Damn, congrats. You've become a pick-up line for hipsters working the pity angle."
Well, no one here is a Packers fan. So it's definitely not one of us. We'd like to set up a blind date with him and any interested commenter if he wants to make contact, though.