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Books Will Teach You How to Manage the Money That Wall Street Will Piss Away Anyway

Bookstores are stocking up on finance books after the meltdowncrisis, reports the WSJ. Doing its patriotic duty, Borders has even helpfully "creat[ed] front-of-store displays featuring finance or personal-finance titles in all 522 superstores nationwide." Because they care. Re: those finance books: hey, you know what? It's not us proles that need the personal-finance books.

Sure, we don't save enough and put a little too much on credit cards and make semi-retarded mortgage decisions in our ceaselessly hopeful pursuit of the American Dream of ownership. But all of those books tell you to invest in a Roth IRA and the freaking stock market, and we all know what happens after you do that: IT FUCKING CRASHES AND ALL YOUR STUPID MONEY IS GONE. Some authors—like good old billionaire shadow investor George Soros's The New Paradigm for Financial Markets—have predicted this, which we of course ignored, not that we could have stopped it anyway.


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