An Open Letter to Cameron Crowe, Re: His New Volcano ComedyYesterday, CHUD reminded of us one of the most outlandish projects percolating in Hollywood: the next film from director Cameron Crowe (Almost Famous), an untitled, semi-supernatural comedy set to star Ben Stiller and Reese Witherspoon. The former plays a disgraced weapons analyst who must journey to Hawaii to convince the islanders to put up with a new spy satellite — something they're perfectly willing to do if Stiller will secure a human sacrifice for their volcano. Along the way, the analyst has romantic entanglements with various women, including one played by Witherspoon. Cam, Cam, Cam (can we call you "Cam"?). This idea smells worse to us than Vanilla Sky, and here's why:First of all, you're opening yet another film with a professional in disgrace? While that worked fine in Jerry Maguire, the conceptual retread wore thin quickly in Elizabethtown. Ironically, the fact that Elizabethtown bombed might have given you new insight into the sort of character who suffers career ignominy and then struggles to pick up the pieces, but we'd still recommend against using that trope a third freakin' time. Also (and perhaps a bit more importantly), THIS IS THE MOVIE JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO. And, in choosing to pursue a logline so outrageously similar to that Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan film, you have unwittingly awakened the sleeping giant that is Defamer's love for that movie. Cam, we have been to Hawaii. We know Hawaii. Hawaii, sir, is no Waponi Wu. Thus, Cam, we politely ask you to take stock of your upcoming project. Does your "disgraced professional" undergo a freakout that can top this? Is he asked to become involved with a volcano sacrifice by a sparkly-eyed Lloyd Bridges? Are three of his love interests played by a pre-Restylane Meg Ryan, and is one of them a flibbertigibbet? If the answer to any of these questions is "no," perhaps it's time to shelve this project and pick back up with Singles 2: The VH1 Classic Years.