Let's face it: As well-intentioned celebrity spats go, Jenny McCarthy vs. Amanda Peet was a total disappointment in its attempt to bring awareness to the cause and treatment of autism. What it needed was less born-again book-tour proselytizing and more substantive debate about nature, nurture and science itself. In other words, it needed the radical authority of a medical professional like Denis Leary, who, in his own new book, tastefully settles the problem of autism once and for all:

There is a huge boom in autism right now because inattentive mothers and competitive dads want an explanation for why their dumb-ass kids can't compete academically, so they throw money into the happy laps of shrinks ... to get back diagnoses that help explain away the deficiencies of their junior morons. I don't give a [bleep] what these crackerjack whack jobs tell you - yer kid is NOT autistic. He's just stupid. Or lazy. Or both.

Color us confused, but does this mean you have to be clinically autistic to actually buy a Denis Leary book? In any case, your move, Ms. McCarthy.