Live Blogging Project Runway: The Final Episode

Yes, I know the last presidential debate is on tonight, but stay here and live-blog last episode of Project Runway with us instead. After all, we can watch more presidential debates in 2012 — but who knows when, if ever, we'll get to see Project Runway again?

And I must say, if Bravo wanted to tell Harvey Weinstein and his TV production team not to let the door hit their ass on the way out, they found a nifty way to do it. The date of this debate was probably known for months, but Bravo couldn't be bothered to tweak the schedule so that the final episode fell on a different day. I think this is a cable network's way of telling a reality show, "You're already dead to me. I have no son!" Or … something like that. Anyway, let us think on that no more, fellow live-bloggers. Instead, let us revisit some of last week's highlights for a final time this season:

Tim told Korto that one of her dresses looked like a vagina. And you know what? If Tim Gunn thinks something looks like a vagina, it probably does. Because I don't imagine Tim Gunn walks around with vaginas on his mind all day. (Just call it a hunch.)

Kenley revealed that she loves rope because her father was a tugboat captain. So presumably, every time she wraps a coil of twisted hemp around a dress dummy's neck, she thinks about Daddy. And if Freud were alive today, I think he might trade a box of Cuban cigars for a chance to psychoanalyze this woman.

To the horror of the Kenley-hating commenters (i.e., most of you), Jerell was the one who got auf'd. But this was probably just, judging from what we glimpsed of his final collection. (As commenter crookedE put it: "It makes my eyes hurt … it's like a cross between 'Dallas' and early Madonna.") Apparently, Jerell's fashion sense — having risen to near-brilliance for several weeks running — suddenly reverted to the garish ridiculousness of those early, Jerell-in-July days. In that sense, his story arc reminded me of "Flowers for Algernon" — so much so that, like the final scene of that film, I picture Jerell sitting on see-saw now, laughing like a baby and waving mismatched, glittery fabrics in the air.

At the end of the episode, commenter Withnail declared: "I'm overwhelmed. And overworked. And underpaid. And overwrought. And underpants." Ah, but aren't we all, Withnail? Aren't we all?

And here are my final suggested "things to watch for" tonight:

  • Kenley will say, "I feel like a Spice Girl." So what would Kenley's Spice Girl name be, I wonder? Insufferable Spice? Whiny Spice? Unpopular Spice? Rope-loving-tugboat-captain's-daughter Spice? (That last one lacks a certain catchiness, I admit.)
  • (SPOILER ALERT) For the first time, Tim Gunn will be a judge. And I'll bet all that courtesy and respect Kenley's shown Mr. Gunn this season will give her a real leg up during the final judging.
  • (SPOILER ALERT) A woman will win. Remember, you heard it here first. Korto will say, "Shine in your moment, ladies." And as we live-blog together for the last time this season, I suggest that we all shine in our moment, too. And then, we can hang that shiny moment up on our own, personal Bluefly Accessory Wall to admire for weeks to come (at least, until the new season of Top Chef starts next month).

Finally, I "supersized" this post a little so I could take an extra few fizzy ounces of saccharine self-indulgence to thank you all for making this Wednesday night get-together not only the best commenter party around, but just about the most fun I've had doing anything ever. (Yeah, I've led a pretty dull life.) I don't know yet if I'll be doing this live-blog-hosting thing on Gawker again; I'm still awaiting word on that. But whatever happens, each and every one of you will always have a seat with your name on it in the Bryant Park tent of my heart.

And no, I'm not crying. Well, not much. Who do I look like to you, Tim Gunn?

— MisterHippity