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Not only is Karl Lagerfeld not planning to retire until the day he has to be hauled out of Chanel's offices in a bodybag, he also isn't going to restrain himself from making bitchy comments to reporters. A couple of weeks ago, the Kaiser staged a verbal assault on Heidi Klum and Seal. Today he delivers a milder attack on Audrey Tautou, who stars in Chanel's new TV commercial for Chanel No. 5, but had the audacity to suggest recently that she doesn't actually wear the label from head-to-toe every day. Karl's response? Among other things, he says he wishes he'd recommended Penelope Cruz for the perfume campaign instead. [WWD]