Comments of the Week! Last Friday, we gave our star commenters the prize of a corner table at the Grill, but they forgot to tip their servers (and really: all those limoncellos at 11am?). This week, we're awarding the writers of the five best comments a double date with Alex Rodriguez and a hirsute, learning-to-love-again Madonna. Enjoy!

· classicfantastic on Mark Wahlberg To 'Crack' Andy Samberg's 'Big Fucking Nose': "Oh how fabulous. Getting Marky Mark to take time from his busy pants dropping schedule to fight with Andy Samberg."

· TenTimesFiltered on Drunken Dialects of the South, With Your Guide Dennis Quaid: "I've never seen The Big Easy. Does he get bitten in the mouth by snakes at the beginning?"

· Benny on Is This Your New Spock From 'Star Trek,' Or a Melty-Faced Katie Holmes?: "Mr... Spock... I'm... going for more beer! Check you... later... braugh!"

· Tiger_Tanaka on UTA Riles Some With Its 'Black Boy Chained To Monkey' Lobby Portrait: "The guy is sad because the monkey's outfit is doper than his. That picture was taken inside UTA's mailroom, right?"

· Tyrol_Kyd on Travis Barker Not a Fan of Hospital Life, Ex-Wife Shanna Moakler: "He's just jealous because she can get rid of her burning sensations with a simple dose of Valtrex."

Congratulations to this week's top five! Oh, and a word of advice: Don't bring up Sarah Palin. Madge can be a bit touchy about that whole thing.

Contact information for this author is not available.