Lesbian Starlet Supply Tainted By Roosevelt's Corpse-Water PoolMuch of Hollywood is on edge (and making "eeeeeeew" faces) this morning as news quickly spread that some of our most treasured lesbian DJs, their reformed starlet girlfriends, a various other tenacious hangers-on have been exposed to waters that recently held a dead body. The location was the Roosevelt Hotel—certainly no stranger to corpses, hosting at least one accidentally fatal date-rape-drugging per weekend—but what made this tragedy unusual was the fact that: 1. the victim, a 30-year-old New York native, was discovered at the pool's bottom, not in a cabana with an iPod boombox still playing "I Kissed A Girl" on infinite loop, and 2. the pool was never drained. Page Six reports:
Ed Winter, assistant chief of investigations for the Los Angeles County coroner's office, told The Post's David Finnigan: "He was found at the bottom of the pool wearing swimming trunks. The staff at the hotel found him, but we don't know who actually removed him from the pool." A Page Six source told us that days after Nagler's body was found, "The hotel management had a meeting, where they told staffers the pool didn't need to be drained" because "there was enough chlorine in it to kill the bacteria." [...] One week later, the likes of Lindsay Lohan, Samantha Ronson, Eve, Kevin Connolly and Stacy Keibler "were swimming in the unchanged water," our source added.
What this means for them is not entirely clear. It's commonly held that prolonged exposure to corpse-water can, in some cases, lead to zombieism, but we've yet seen no significant signs of such in any of the susceptible subjects. Rest assured, Ronson's anemic looks and habit of moaning, "BRAaaaaaains," aren't the result of any undead cravings, but rather hours and hours of exposure to her girlfriend's endless, insight-deficient speechifying on the state of American politics.