Where Do You Drink When You Snap Before Noon?Ever have one of those days when you stalk out of work in a huff? Then, stepping outside, wonder WTF you are going to do with your day? Do you go over to Broadway and finger a tray of cashmere gloves at Club Monaco? Do you take the 6 train uptown, pop a Xanax, and watch TV? Or do you wonder which downtown bars are open and serving? Is it maybe 11 a.m. on a Tuesday? If so, you might enjoy Milano's on East Houston.If you want to drink in grave-like silence in the middle of the day, pondering the economy and your role in it, this hallway-shaped dive's for you. "Sex causes high blood pressure," an old man tells the bartender. "You know, the heart races and stuff." (Are you the only female in the bar? Are you, at this point, used to this?) You know what else causes high blood pressure? Not the failing economy! There've been reports that people are actually healthier (if not happier) during hard times. Another even older man comes in off the street, asks the bartender, "What's 2 across?" and heaves himself onto a barstool. It collapses and he falls to the floor. "The legs just snapped off," he says sheepishly. Which sort of represents the subprime market—and as someone wise once said, "nothing is so successful that you can't fuck it up." The answer to 2 across? I-R-R-A-T-I-O-N-A-L H-U-B-R-I-S. Anyway, Milano's. A pint of Brooklyn Lager? $5. The day off? Priceless. [Photo: Trig's Flickr]