America's fun new way to lay off everybodyJason Calacanis is a master storyteller. Like most writers, he needs an editor. Here's a summary remix of Calacanis's secret insider mail, sent a few hours after Mahalo's layoffs were expertly leaked to everyone but me, thanks pal.
From: jason@calacanis.com Subject: [Jason] How to handle layoffs Date: October 22, 2008 6:10:18 PM PDT It's interesting to watch the negativity and obnoxiousness of some bloggers and anonymous commenters while these layoffs have been going on. When things go bad you can really tell what people are made of.
  • Don't lay people off one at a time, do it as a group. Don't spread layoffs over multiple rounds.
  • Cutting salaries over headcount is generally not a good idea.
  • Give severance even though you don't have to. Be as generous as you can.
  • After the layoffs, get folks ready to kill it again.
Calacanis shovels page after page of boring details about P&L and office expenses. You know what word's not in there? "Sad." Boy Wonder's not going to spell it out, so I will: If layoffs don't get you as excited as that time you jumped out of an airplane, then realized too late what a lousy job you'd done of packing your own parachute and you were going to die now — heh, layoffs! Love 'em or go back to grad school. (Photo by nikan_gr)