Tom Cruise Assembling Gotham Apartment Madhouse

  • Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes can't stop buying their East Village neighbors' apartments. There are two flats for staff alone. One's a gym. Everything's on a different floor. Insane. Sounds like them! [P6]
  • In an attempt to make soon-to-be-ex husband Guy Ritchie cry, Madonna put her eight-year-old son Rocco in a Yankees jersey, just like rumored flame Alex Rodriguez. It worked! [Us]
  • On the set of Saturday Night Live, it emerged Sarah Palin did not know who Oliver Stone was. You know, given the Republican vice presidential nominee's past dabbling in Alaskan separatism, JFK might just change her life. [R&M]
  • On the set of Ugly Betty, Lindsay Lohan would "obsessively cut pictures of herself out of the tabloids like she was creating some sort of scrapbook." That's just terribly sad. In large part because we are all Lindsay Lohan, obsessively clipping our own selves out of our own tabloids. What's your tabloid? [P6]
  • If I understand the Post correctly, volatile supermodel Naomi Campbell's unborn baby had retained lawyers to implicitly threaten anyone who claims it exists. Probably because it is not yet old enough to hurl a cell phone? [P6]
  • The Palm Steakhouse downtown will feature a rendering of Leonardo da Vinci's "Last Supper," but with Bill O'Reilly as Jesus and various other Fox News personalities as disciples. That should certainly impact appetites. [P6]
  • Jennifer Aniston gave John Mayer an ultimatum: it's her or the blogging. Go with the sugar mama, John. It's not even a tough choice. [OK!]
  • Raffaello Follieri tried to collect-call Anne Hathaway, but got the machine. [Daily Star]
  • Paris Hilton supposedly bought a building in London because someone convinced her "pirates and thieves were shackled to the wall." [Hollyscoop]