SEven more on people not meaning what they say, but somehow saying what they mean. Toby Young, the buffoonish Brit who parlayed getting fired from Vanity Fair into books and a movie, writes about the social perils of fame. Now that he's known—and "knows" lots of people—"whenever I am introduced to anyone I make a point of smiling warmly and saying ‘good to see you’—a deliberately ambiguous greeting that leaves open the possibility that the person in question made a vivid impression on me first time round." Let's examine more coded cocktail-party industry-networking chatter."What are you working on/doing?" Translation: I'm working on lots of awesome projects. Let me tell you about them! Oh... well, don't worry. I'm sure things will pick up for you soon! "Call me!" Translation: Because I won't be calling you! If I was really so interested in getting in touch with you, believe you me, I would stab somebody's assistant to get access to their Rolodex. "We should have a drink soon;" "Let's get coffee sometime." Translation: I am exiting this conversation, but politely, in a way that makes you feel worse, because let's be honest, there will be no drink or coffee, "soon" or otherwise. Haha, that's just what I tell people. Isn't that clever? Makes them feel "included." "I'm going to get another drink/use the restroom." Translation: I am exiting this conversation. Also maybe: "cocaine"! (Not sharing/inviting.) "Here's my card." Translation: I am exiting this conversation. Oh, by the way—that card contains the e-mail address that I never check. "Yeah... yeah... yeahyeahyeah, I totally agree." Translation: I'm not paying attention because I'm scanning the room over your shoulder—OMG, George! HI GEORGE! So good to seeeeee youuuu! (Oh, you know what's the worst? When some fucking Patrick McMullan photographer or Mick Rock or whoever motions for you to "move over" because he doesn't want you in the picture.)
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