Greg Gutfeld, host of Red Eye, the 3 a.m. Fox News show you have never seen, wore out his faux-meathead wingnut schtick around the same time he stopped regularly doing crunches. He purposely poses as a wiseass ignorant bastard (which is fine!), so we're not upset that his latest column explores how Obama is like "a really hot chick." We just chalk it up to homoeroticism. But we have to object to his opening line, "So yesterday, during an ideas meeting..."; Greg, you know don't have "ideas" meetings.
So yesterday, during an ideas meeting, a staffer pitched a story about Sarah Palin, focusing on how little we know about her time in college. My blood pressure spiked, because naturally her history — or lack thereof — is far less murkier than Barack Obama’s.Far less murkier.
But it didn’t seem to matter, because no matter what you have against the man, it just doesn’t stick.See: homoeroticism, aforementioned.
Seriously, the man isn’t a presidential candidate, he’s a really hot chick. You know what I mean, right?Yea. Kicker?
Face it: If you found out that your new girlfriend, who happened to be Megan Fox, worked with ACORN, hung around with Bill Ayers and used to do coke back in college, would you care? Of course you wouldn’t! It’s Megan Fox! Congratulations. You’re now The New York Times.Ha. If you're reading, Greg, respond in the comments: What is your unironic opinion of Tucker Max? Thanks. [Fox News]