Jeremy Piven Is Touchy, Jesus Picks Up a New Gig

• The case of the mercury-tainted sushi lives on: Chris Kattan ran into Jeremy Piven backstage during a taping of Alexa Chung's MTV show last week and made a crack about Piven's short stint on Broadway; a very offended Piven responded by calling Kattan's entire career into question. [NYDN]
• Madonna's Brazilian-born boy toy, Jesus Luz, is more than just a model: He's now a DJ, too. [P6]
• Bethenny Frankel is no fan of Gwyneth Paltrow: "I'd rather staple my eyelids shut than watch Gwyneth cook." We're going to assume the feeling is mutual. [NYDN]
• In what amounted to a two-way publicity stunt, Kathy Griffin and Levi Johnston (better known as Bristol Palin's baby daddy) turned up to the Teen Choice Awards last night holding hands. [Us]

• Victoria Beckham shows up for her first day of work on American Idol on Friday. Meanwhile, ABC is hoping to get Paula Abdul to make an appearance on Dancing With the Stars this season. [Radar, NYDN]
• Tracy Morgan has divorced his wife after 23 years of marriage. [TMZ]
• E! will be airing the first interview with Jon Gosselin this week. [E!]
• A former British child actor named Mark Lester now says he's the father of Michael Jackson's daughter, Paris. [NYDN]
• Jessica Simpson has been losing weight, in case you care. [P6]
• How much did OK! pay Kimora Lee Simmons for photos of her new baby? Whatever it was, it was undoubtedly too much. [P6]
• Kim Kardashian debuted a new hairstyle. (It's a slow news day, yes.) [SW]
• Kelly Osbourne wants breast reduction surgery. (Told you it was slow.) [DM]
• Mariah Carey is supposedly hoping to finish her new album before Whitney Houston finishes hers, or something. [P6]
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck gave birth to a boy named Isaiah on Sunday. [Us]
• Daniel Baldwin and his wife had a baby, too. [Us]
• Cheech Marin got married over the weekend. [People]
• Here's some news you probably never expected to hear: Someone has actually hired Tara Reid to act in a movie. Really. [Reuters]