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What Lurks Behind Hayden Panettiere's Campaign To Save The Whales

Heroes star Hayden Panettiere spoke at aerial art event for her Save the Whales Again! campaign yesterday, where supporters rallied to form a giant human pilot whale. While we applaud the young starlet's initiative in fighting the destruction of a vital species, we can't help but think there's something more behind her advocacy. Click to unravel a plot most sinister: like National Treasure, but a blog post.

We can't blame Hayden for being excited about her first election, and she connected her pet cause to get out the vote efforts yesterday. We don't doubt her sincerity, but a series of clues points to a different explanation for her actions.

Think about it: is it possible that the cast of Heroes' emergence in the whale conservation cause is a plot by the whale-hunting lobby? When Heroes inevitably gets canceled and we have to think back on what a colossal opportunity was squandered in the form of that show, the real victim will be the whales. Celebrities considering whale advocacy will always be reminded of the show's failure to deliver on any of its considerable promise.

And we must look to who else benefits from Save the Whales Again! being tarnished with the Heroes brush. Yes, Jenny McCarthy will have all the more attention on her Autism Speaks cause. The connection between the two is so obvious, my love of whales can silence me no more:

Candie's is a most dangerous corporation, and they are not to be trifled with whether you're a whale or an actress. You heard it here first.


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