Cityfile has partnered with Dr. Helen Fisher to bring you the latest insight into love and romantic attraction. A renowned biological anthropologist, Dr. Fisher has conducted extensive research in the fields of human sexuality, love and marriage. She serves as Chief Scientific Advisor for the internet dating site Chemistry.com.
Question: Do you think you can really feel chemistry via email?
Answer: Yes, I do. The brain system for romantic love can be triggered by looking at a photograph, by hearing a voice, or by reading a letter.
We can fall in love with people we have never met. The trouble comes when you meet the person you have been writing. Looks count. As we grow up, we build an unconscious list of things we are looking for in a partner; it's what I call your "love map" and what some other academics call your Ideal Mate Personality Concept. And if you meet someone who doesn't fit within that template, you may have a very difficult time adjusting to their looks and manner.
In addition, when you meet someone in person, you suddenly receive a lot of other new information that email can't convey, like their smell, the sound of their words, their energy level, their social style, their degree of spontaneity or caution, and hundreds of other stimuli. So I think it is a good idea to move beyond email as fast as possible so that you can see if you are expending your precious metabolic energy on the love of your life or if you're at a Darwinian dead end.
Visit Chemistry.com today to complete your free personality test and get your first chemistry inspired matches FREE!