Bernie Madoff may not be dying of cancer, after all. The Federal Bureau of Prisons just released a statement on the subject, and it's denying the report in today's Post that the fraudster's days are numbered:

While the NY Post story is full of inaccuracies, and we can't specifically address all of them, we can tell you that Bernie Madoff is not terminally ill, and has not been diagnosed with cancer.

Until prison officials indicate otherwise, however, you may continue to assume that Madoff has been engaging in ancient Native American religious rituals and has been busy making friends with the prison's population of gay men.

Otherwise, you might be forced to imagine he spends his days locked in a monotonous routine that consists of eating, sleeping, watching TV, and making the odd collect call to Ruth. And what fun would that be?


Bureau of Prisons Denies Madoff Has Cancer [NYT]