Happy Birthday, You're Fired!Getting laid off is never fun. But complaining about how awful being laid off is, in a perverse and masochistic way. Because misery loves company, we want your layoff stories. (Send them to tips@gawker.com.) Here are two we received so far: one from a man who wasn't even allowed to get his birthday cards, and another about a laid-off employee who the bosses actually forgot to fire...
My husband got laid off unexpectedly—on his birthday, no less. He had been traveling for work for two straight weeks, then they made him sit through a full day of bullshit meetings that were supposed to continue into a company dinner that night. They dropped the ax right before he was set to leave for the restaurant. Again, on his birthday, after he'd been away for over two weeks. I had sent his birthday cards to his office because I knew that he would get them before he would see me. They wouldn't let him go through his mail to get them. He was allowed to take only the personal photographs from his office and then was forced to sign a form that stated that they did not owe him any money — even though they owed him all his expenses from his two weeks on the road. It took three months and we finally just got that check. There were a few other layoffs earlier this year, and those people got more in their severance packages. However the company must have realized that they were losing money at an alarming pace so they cut the severance packages drastically... To top it off, he was unable to sell his stock in the company because the timing of his layoff was during a "blackout period." He probably would have only made like a dollar a share. Now, the company's stock is trading at fifty cents a share and so there is nothing of value to sell anymore anyway. Some consolation: The assholes who are in charge don't stand to make any money on their stock options barring a miracle buyout, which would probably never happen because the place is such a mess and the people who are now in charge are completely incompetent. If you print this, please keep it anonymous... unless it's after Friday when the severance package runs out. Then we can say whatever we want about those DICKS.
Eloquently put! Now, the story of the forgotten Downsized Employee:
My old company—a boutique ad agency in the Financial District—went through three rounds of layoffs throughout late spring and the summer. In the second round, they laid off five or six people, and then called a meeting immediately afterward with the rest of the staff.

I'll forgive the fact that they called this meeting while the fired were still cleaning out their desks. But the bumbling owners decided it would be helpful to go through with the rest of us a list of the people they laid off. But one of the people they announced on the list was out of the office that day, and the owners were too inept to realize that they hadn't actually laid him off yet. So now everyone in the agency but him knew what was to come the next day. Someone must have tipped him off, because he came in the next day, collected his things and left.