Joe Gregory Needs $233 Million in Cash, Label Maker

Joe Gregory, the cash-starved former president of Lehman Brothers, hasn't had much luck selling his oceanfront house in Bridgehampton. (He cut the price from $32 million to $27.9 million a few months back, although that hasn't helped any, apparently.) Time to move on to Plan B, it seems. Gregory is now asking a bankruptcy judge to pay him the $232,999.548.71 he says he's owed in deferred compensation "in the form of performance- and restricted-stock grants." Now that's rich, isn't it? He helped run the bank into the ground and now he'd like to get paid for his "performance"? We're not quite sure how Gregory came up with this $233 million figure, but we're inclined to think the judge should cut him a check for $19.99. That way Gregory can go to Staples and buy himself a Brother P-Touch 80 so when he makes outrageous financial demands in the future, he'll at least be able to affix a profession-looking label to the envelope. Just because you had a hand in the biggest bankruptcy in U.S. history and your reputation is now ruined doesn't mean you can get sloppy! Gregory's handwritten submission to the court below.

Joe Gregory Needs $233 Million in Cash, Label Maker
Joe Gregory Needs $233 Million in Cash, Label Maker

Always Take the Cash [WSJ]