This is the hot new trend of late October: openly racist white people for Obama! It began with random tales of canvassers talking to voters who plainly said they were "voting for nigger." Now, this kind of amazing photo of a home in Indiana with an Obama sign and a Confederate Flag has been making the rounds in the Tumblrverse. There are more illustrative anecdotes below! Politico's Ben Smith wrote a story rounding up the stories of voters who "wouldn't want a mixed race marriage" for their children but are still voting for Obama. It featured this awesome Paul Begala quote:
"If you go to a white neighborhood in the suburbs and ask them, ‘How would you feel about a large black man kicking your door in,' they would say, ‘That doesn't sound good to me,'" said Democratic political consultant Paul Begala. "But if you say, 'Your house is on fire, and the firefighter happens to be black,' it's a different situation."
Does Paul ask this question of people regularly? He must be a great dinner companion. For further evidence of racist support of Obama, consider the working-class white Philly neighborhood of Fishtown—where the anecdote linked up top hails from. The Philadelphia City Paper has a whole feature on the community, and their totally unrepentant casual tribal racism, and their willingness to vote for Barack Obama:
Consider Patrick McGowan, a union carpenter whom I met at Murph's bar on Girard, just a block down from the Fishtown for Obama office. McGowan said he was voting for Obama. "Everyone's voting for him," he said. Would race be an obstacle? "Not at all - not for anybody who's a working man paying taxes," he assured, adding: "First of all, he's not all black. And maybe if a black person gets in there to be president, it'll keep all the crybabies from crying discrimination."
What you want is Obama to become president. That would make all your dire predictions seem prescient (that means "knowing the future"). The fear that makes a person embrace Nazi ideology in the first place will be ramped up exponentially (that means "fast"). And what would Obama do as president? He would make decisions, some good, but others bad, and think how those bad decisions will reverberate among people such as yourselves. They would be evidence, not of the missteps of one politician, but a blanket indictment of the entire Black Race. Think of it. The Thing You Fear Most, sitting in the Oval Office, greeting visitors, greeting Girl Scouts, for the love of God! Think about it. Posing for photographs with young, tender Girl Scouts, shaking their small white hands, asking them about cookie sales . . . Think of what that would do for recruitment. It wouldn't just be you and your buddy Hrolf taking videos of each other brandishing your dad's hunting rifle in menacing poses. You could have real meetings, attract actual followers. The plan for world domination that you so laboriously wrote out in 11th grade detention would come to fruition at last! Obviously, you want Obama elected — the nation will soon realize what it has done, the pendulum will swing the other way — your way. At long last! Ausgerechnet jetzt!
Ha ha... ha? But before you get too excited over people voting their economic self-interest over their racial prejudices, just remember that Joe the Plumber has a record deal, so America is still doomed.