Lazy Tom Sizemore to Magazines: Cover Me, I GuessThere's a certain, overbearing art to the publicist pitch, especially when the flack is emailing an editor to suggest that a client receive coverage in their magazine. Not every thespian is a cover-worthy Angelina Jolie, but most publicists tout their C- and D-listers as though they are, filling their pitches with paragraph upon paragraph of that actor's multiple, stunning achievements (often bolded, capitalized, and punctuated with several exclamation points for emphasis). By the time you finished reading them, you'd be convinced that an actor's upcoming, three-episode arc on Brothers & Sisters deserved no less than Time's "Person of the Year." So, that's one way to do it. Then again, if you're Tom Sizemore's partner and you're pitching to one of the biggest publications in town, there's this way:Lazy Tom Sizemore to Magazines: Cover Me, I GuessSDarryl, Darryl, Darryl (can we call you "Darryl"?). Where to begin? First of all, when you're sending this email to a female editor (as you did in this case), "Dear sir," ain't gonna fly. Also, it's "STARZ." And that whatever inclusion of an IMDb profile might not be such a good idea when a simple scroll-down reveals conversation topics like "Am I the only person on Earth who thinks Sizemore is good looking," "Crackhead Celeb," and "Has anyone been able to juggle career and jail better than this guy?" If blunt efficacy was your goal, let Sizemore write the query himself next time (and make sure he opens it with, "Hey youse guys"). [Photo Credit: AP]